Ignorance is bliss, obviously.

I miss you.
You don't even know how much i miss you.
I miss texting you at all hours of the night.
I miss running up to you and giving you the biggest hug whenever i saw you.
I miss you calling me babygirl.
I miss how you didn't give a shit about anyone elses opinions.
I miss how you were so protective of me.
I miss just laying there with you, in silence.
I miss laughing at dumb shit with you.
I miss sending you dirty phrases in spanish.
I miss all of us just hanging out like nothing was wrong..
nothing was suppose to ever happen.
I miss how you always wore white.
I miss how your hair NEVER moved.
I missed being able to come to you whenever i needed.
I just miss, you.
Why did it have to end up like this?
I don't think i can ever trust you again, like i did before.
Even if we become friends again,
it will ALWAYS be in the back of my mind.

You know what i've realized lately?
We were all in a hotel room in california, and it was really early.
Everyone was sleeping but stephen, cause he was so excited about six flags, which is insanely adorable.
I got up, walking almost like i wasn't even awake,
climbed into bed with you,
and you just held me.
and we just layed there.
you just held me, no kissing, no seducing, no trying to catch a feel.
and we just layed there.
i even fell back asleep.

I haven't felt that safe, in years.
"Ignorance is bliss"


UPDATE : read "fucking faggot"
i regret ever writing this post.