I just want to tell you one thing.

arizona, here i come.



sooo.. going back for the summer.
hopefully for school too.
back to that small little town.
full of boredem.
full of drama.
everyone knows everyone there.
if you go to the fucking store,
you see like 15 people you know.
every
single
time.
but it's not all that bad.
i miss my friends.
i miss my nana.
i miss my house.
so it's chill.

i don't miss a lot of things,
but i'll be sure to avoid most of it.
although, it's super impossible
to avoid people in this town,
like seriously.
you WILL see them eventually.
which totally sucks, but that's life.

i do have a lot of friends there.
in arizona.
so it's not going to be crazy boring.
and i do like chilling at home every once in awhile.

i don't have high hopes chilling with stephen a lot this summer.
i know cristina and cori will always be around.
i could always chill with stephanie and make fun of zack.
and a crazy list of friends for certain occasions like the movies or getting food.
and of course road tripping to see a certain someone in norcal.
unless HE IS AMAZING and visits me instead ;) winkwink

haha and my neighborhood,
lol.
no more walks for me.
don't wanna run into anyone.
i don't even know what i would say.
i don't think i'd say anything.
after crazy shit happened,
you know what i did?
i packed my shit
and split.
like within a month.
i was gone.
which was pretty good in the long run.
bonded with my mother.
faught with my sister, but still bonded.
met an amazing guy.
had some new experiences.
it was worth it.
and i think if i would not have standed up for myself,
and just let him do that to me,
over and over,
i would still be stuck in that little town
with the same drama,
and you know what?
i'm over it.
and life is good.

i just want to tell you one thing.
i am better than you.
i am better than you'll ever be.
and for all that stupid shit that we pulled,
it was pathetic.
and you are pathetic.
you will never have a functional relationship as long as you live.
and if you ever find a girl that will put up with you long enough to keep you around, i feel honestly bad for her.
because you are a horrible person.
and you will always be a horrible person.
you will never change.
as much as you think you've changed,
and as much as you think you can get whatever the fuck you want,
you can't,
and you never will.

thats all i have to say.
and this will be the last time i write about you.
this chapter in my life is over.
and when i write my crazy award winning book,
that's what you'll be.
one f-u-c-k-i-n-g chapter.

you want to know why?
i'm better than that.
i have dignity.
and i am a much stronger person than you.
i don't hide behind shit.
i may run occasionally,
but i face my problems,
unlike you.

:)

oh and p.s -- i'm doing great.
without you.
xoxo