I'm shining like fireworks.

hello, world. :)
i haven't written in this blog for quite some time.

where to start..
today was a really weird day.
this year has gone by so fast.
too fast.
too fast for my taste.
i know if it went slower,
i would want it to stop being so slow.
so who knows.
it is almost the new year already.
how crazy is that.

i enrolled in culinary school.
that was the biggest, greatest decision i have ever made.
in my life.

i am so happy.
the happiest i have been in a long time.
my passion is baking.
i love baking.
i love making beautiful cakes.
i love the reaction of the people looking at my cakes.
i love making them perfect.
i put my heart and soul into this..
and i haven't done that in awhile.

i finished my first class on wednesday.
i finished with an A.
and i'm very proud of myself, because i worked my ass off.
my next class is on breads.
i love bread.
i'm very excited.

i really, really love baking/culinary.
this is my passion in life.
i can't imagine myself sitting behind a desk/cubicle the rest of my life.
i need more adventure than that.
i need creativity.
i need masterpieces.
i need divinely decadent food art.
i need to create.
even when i don't have class for a day..
like the weekend,
all i want to do is bake.
i need to perfect things.
make them my own.

one day you will see me, and be so jealous.
i am going to make it.
and i know this is going to happen.
i just know it.

i have made a lot of decisions in my life.
some good.
some not so good.
but i regret none of them.
not one.
and that's how i know i am living life.
i am living life, happily.

i may have some ups and downs, but i have a dream.
and i'm putting my heart and soul into it.
and that is all that matters.

fuck everything else.
fuck everyone else that doesn't see eye-to-eye with me.
that doesn't concern me.
:D

lately.. i smile so much.
i smile too much.
chef always says "lauren, i love it when you smile"
it really makes me smile more.
i am so enthusiastic about everything.
i haven't had this much drive for some time.
and i'm glad i found it again.
i thought i'd lost it.

i have made some amazing friends.
these friends i know i will keep for a long time.
we have shit in common.
we love to bake.
we want to open up a bakery/wedding cake shop.
we have such a dream.. we know it will happen.

these girls are just like me.
sweet, but when fucked with, your worst nightmare.
i love that we see things the same.
we will be the nicest ever until you fuck with us.

i've had a reoccurring dream lately.
i don't know where it is coming from.
it isn't bothering me.
it's just like.. what if.
you know?

i have listened to the new taylor swift album for 3 weeks straight.
nothing else, but taylor swift.
her new album.. it is so perfect for everything.
i can relate SO much. she is perfect.
she really knows how to capture the emotions.

i'm going to post some lyrics.
i really love this song.
i love all her songs.
i will only post one for now.
i might post the rest at a later date.
but this one..
this one is the one for right now.

Dear John
by Taylor Swift

Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps,
praying the floor won't fall through, again
My mother accused me of losing my mind,
but I swore I was fine
You paint me a blue sky
and go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game,
but you changed the rules every day
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone
tonight
Well I stopped picking up, and this song is to let you know why

Dear John,
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress,
cried the whole way home.
I should've known

Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame
Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said "run as fast as you can"

Dear John,
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress,
cried the whole way home

Dear John,
I see it all, now it was wrong
Don't you think 19 is too young to be played by your dark twisted games, when I loved you so?
I should've known

You are an expert at sorry,
and keeping lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you run dry
with tired, lifeless eyes
cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me,
so don't look now:
I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town.

Dear John,
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress,
cried the whole way home.
I see it all now that you're gone

Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should've known
You should've known
Don't you think I was too young?
You should've known.