A dream, more of a specific memory.

crazyyyyyyyyyyyy dream.
like seriously.
it was so unexpected.
and totally random.
like, it happened when i was 15 or 16.
it's sooo weird to.
like a totally random moment.




so you and me met at my house.
and of course i gave you an otter pop.
and we walked to my bff's house, in that crazy 120 degree weather.
the whole way there we were just chilling.
no cares in the world.
kissing.
i remember you slapping my ass a lot.
then kissing more.
and arguing about how hot it was.
then we finally got my bffs house.
and he let us in.
and he was infront, and i followed him, and you followed behind.
we walked upstairs,
and i remember you grabbing my ass, and kissing my neck.
and my bff at the time had a CRAZY HUGE crush on me.
and he just kinda ignored it.
we were walking into my bff's room..
and you gave me those eyes.
those fucking eyes that i can never say no to.
and you just looked at me.
and pulled me in, and kissed me.
right there.
infront of him.
no hiding.
no nothing.
just kissed me.
and my bff just kinda was like.. okay guys lets keep this rated G.
then we were just chilling.
playing video games i think.
looking at his stupid wall paintings.
then for some reason my bff went into his closet
OH
cause we were joking like,
so fool, where is the p0rn?
and he was all.. OH MY CLOSET!
so he went into the closet,
then you closed the door on my bff.
and locked him in.
pulled me over to you.
pressed me up against the door.
and crazyyy kissed me.
one of those kisses that you don't forget.
the kind that makes your mind go blurry.
the kind that makes you lose time.
groping.
de-clothing.
crazy kind of kisses.
the best kind.
and all the time, the bff was locked in the closet.
we let him out like 3 minutes later.
and he was all like..
"what were you guys even doing?"
and i remember saying "i can't remember."
and you just looked at me.
with that stupid smirk you have all the time.
then we got bored.
and we left together.
you walked me home.
holding my hand.
then complaining it was too hot to hold hands
and kept slapping my fucking ass. lol.
because you knew you could.
and you didn't care.
so we got to my house.
and we were on the side of the house.
and you pushed me against that same wall.
and kissed me for real again.
that crazy light-headed kiss,
losing track of time,
lustful, intensely romantic and just pure sex kiss.
i don't know why i remember this.
i don't know why i had a dream about it.
i haven't thought about that moment,
probably since i was 16.
then you went home.
and so did i.
then i got a call from my bff.
and he wanted to chill again.
so he walked to my house.
and we were walking around the block.
and i wanted to go get you.
cause back then, i liked being around you.
not anymore really.
but he said straight out "why him?"
and i was like.. "because he makes me feel invincible."
"he makes me feel like i can fly."
and you know what he said?
he said "i could do better if you let me."
and he tried to kiss me.
and i pulled away.
and didn't let him.
and turned him down.
and that was the last day we ever talked.
he got back together with his girlfriend.
and he said that he couldn't talk to me anymore.
my bff.
because i didn't want to be with him.
thinking back now,
he was probably the most logical choice.
but he didn't give me that rush..
that rush, that need-you-so-much rush.
i never liked him like that, ever.
he was simply a boy, and simply a friend, a best friend.

it's SO weird i had a dream about that.
like out of no where.
for no reason.
i had to blog about this.
it's just so crazy.
because before this dream,
i didn't think about that moment for years.

now i'm pissed off.
i can see those fucking eyes,
staring at me.
those eyes i can't say no to.
fucking staring at me.
with that lustful crazy look.
i hate remember shit like that.

it's over,
it's done,
and i dream about it?
pshhhh.

i'm chill.
:)

i honestly think he was genuinely interested me back then.
then something changed.
but i don't want to give credit to him, when no credit is due.
he deserves nothing.
sure,
thanks for making my highschool years pretty great.
then pretty suck-ish.
sure,
thanks for giving me those mind-blowing kisses and everything else that happened.
experiences in life are chill.
but you are still pathetic.
and if i see you,
i'll turn aronud and walk the opposite direction.

xoxo