Let me in on the secret, okay?

you are difficult.
you make me so mad sometimes.
i don't know what you want.
and you don't give any hints.

i don't text you a lot anymore.
maybe once every few days.
it seems you text me more,
when i don't text you.
it's interesting.

i try not to think about you a lot anymore,
because i know it's not going anywhere.

but when you do talk to me,
i still get those butterflies in my stomach.
so obviously, you still got it.

today you texted me,
and you said you had a bad day.
first instinct : call you & see if you are okay.

but i didn't do that.
cause i know you hate talking on the phone.
which is pretty lame btw.

i miss you.
but not as much as i used to.

i would mind just.. being with you.
and fuck everything else.

i've done things for you.. that i've never done before.
for anyone.
and if they would have asked me,
i'd be like..
"ha, yeah. sure. fuck you."

it's not even about the sex.
well, it's nice.
you know what i like.
that wall is down.
downdowndown.
i like knowing that you know what i like.

you got into my head.

i don't even know what i'm saying.
but i know this, i miss you.

i miss your stupid smile.
and the way you ignore me for your stupid computer games.
i miss your bed and how i want you next to me.
i miss that stupid nickname you always used to call me.
and i miss how i had to ask for things.
i miss you being in control, then kissing me.
i miss saying no, but really meaning yes.
i miss not knowing what was going to happen.
i miss your cute accent.
and i miss kissing you on the cheek, which always ended up on your eye cause you move your stupid head.
i miss it all.

give me a hint, okay?
xoxo