Promise me one day, guys won't all be the same.

i've come to a realization.



when is it going to be my turn?
you'd think if someone put so much effort into you, they'd stick around.
totally not the case.
that goes with relationships and friends.
it's like.. guys only talk to me if they need something.
i am not a slut.
i may want to be one because i'm tired of all the bullshit,
but i am most definately not a slut.
i don't sleep with a million guys.
i don't even mess around with a million guys.
but it's always something.
i am not used for your pleasure.
if you are going to work me all up,
and make me think that you genuinely like me as a person,
and make me think that you want something from me, idk, not involving sex?
that would be pretty nice.

i'm tired of it.
i'm tired of giving you pieces of me.
and once you are done with me,
i lose those fucking pieces.
i swear.
i trust less.
i avoid more.
it's not fair.

life isn't fair, right?
it's just frustrating.

i should be able to have my happy ending too.
everyone around me is getting fucking married,
and having fucking babies,
and moving in with their boyfriends,
and falling in love every single day,
and being so happy and shit,

i think it's time for me to get that too.
i'm not saying i want to get married,
have kids,
all that shit,
i'm just saying..

when is it my turn?
i've been through enough shit.
karma owes me.

i just wish a guy would sweep me off my feet,
and show me that every guy isn't the same.
is that really too much to ask?
i don't think so.

i'm just a fucking sexual fantasy.
like, seriously.
it's all totally chill in the beginning,
but it gets old.

sure, i'm down for pretty much anything.
i have a specific way about me.
i like specific things.
is that it?
because i like it different than normal girls?
like me for me, please.
xoxo