I still want my band shirt.

hmm..
so last blog was pretty deep.
totally over that, actually.
you want to know why?
shit happens.
people hurt you.
move on.
it's as easy as that.
:)

it's time to live again.
it's time to be happy.
it's time to giggle like you are in the 10th grade.
it's time to not be so afraid.
it's time to not be so paranoid that you'll see someone.
it's time to get out of that fucking comfort zone and do things.
today was a lot better.

besides all of that,
you are the ONLY guy.. not even a guy. you are definately a man.
you are the ONLY man i would ever let wake me up at 4 in the morning.
anyone else, i wouldn't even answer.
you are also the most attractive man i've seen in my life.
you are also the kind of man that doesn't care much.
but i kind of like it that way.
it keeps me safe.
knowing upfront that you don't care much,
is really good.
you may later, but knowing this is good for me.
i've known you for a year now.
i used to have the bigggggest crush on you.
like those crushes you get in elementry school?
that kind.
but now, it's different.
now, i genuinely like talking to you.
you are definately defined as lust.
you are the definition of lust.
everything about you, makes me just want to fuck you.
all day.
all night.

i do genuinely care about you i think.
i know my last post was all about totally not knowing what love is.
this isn't love.
i care what happens with you.
it's a definate start.

you do not trust anybody.
i do not trust anybody.
you do not commit to anything.
i do not commit to anything.
it works.

you have the most incredible laugh.
and you have the most incredible voice.
i may not like your choice in music,
which is basically your life,
but i do listen to it when you send it to me, because i like knowing stuff about you and your life.
i do like your art.
you are very good.

i like when you call me really late
and your voice gets all deep
and i totally know if you are horny or tired.
you like the same things i do.
like, exactly.
and that is complete lust.
but i also like when you fall asleep while still on the phone.
you SO snore.
don't fucking lie.
i hear you, fool.
but it's really cute actually.

i've never written about you in my blog ever before.
i am not looking for anything.
i am not getting my hopes up.
you are too good for me, for my standards.
seriously, you are too good.
i can't compete with the type of girls you look at.
but you do you look at me.
and talk to me.
and i don't know why.
i don't think you like me in that way,
but who knows?
that would be pretty chill if you did.

i like that we can hold a conversation,
for hours.
unlike other guys i talk to,
i can't keep a conversation with them.
i get bored.
you never bore me.
ever.

you are viciously cute.
in more ways than one.
yes, you are the sexiest guy i've ever laid eyes on.
but, you are also a totally dork sometimes.
you joke around a lot.
we make fun of everyone.
you have a personality.
you inspired me to write this blog.
you are funny.
you are sweet.
you make me laugh.
and i like talking to you.

this may not go anywhere,
i'm not expecting anything,
but i am saying i like talking to you.
i genuinely enjoy anything to do with you.

you hide behind your looks.
you don't give yourself enough credit.
you are beautiful.
you are smart.
you are a smartass, lol.
you are cocky.
you don't trust anyone, because you don't want to be hurt.
you talk about your dick a lot, but rightfully so.
you score a 11 in that catagory.
you think you are hot shit.
and you are.
but it's an act.
confidence is very sexy.
but i like that i know things about you.
i like that you share secrets with me.
i like your stories,
and how dumb you are. lol

i'm infatuated by you.
i don't even know why you are talking to me.
and i don't know how long you'll talk to me,
we dont' talk for months at a time,
but when we do,
we do.

this entry got pretty long.
my bad, gangstur.

i was going to use a picture of you,
but maybe i don't want you seeing this blog,
and maybe i don't wanna share.

ps-- i still want my band shirt.
signed.
so i can wear it to bed and to the grocery store. :)
xoxo