Goodbye, My Almost Lover<3

i don't even know.
i don't even know anything.
i don't know how to put it into words.
for once,
i don't have the words.
i guess i'll try.






i've lost the one guy,
i opened my heart to.
and ever since he's been around,
i wouldn't let anyone else in.
and now..
he doesn't want anything to do with me.
and i have no words.

no words.

i've been terrified of love,
ever since i met him.
from day one,
i knew he'd hurt me.
and he has over the years.
repeatedly.
over and over.
and i forgave him,
every single time,
cause it's him.
and i knew it from the beginning.

today,
i lost two friendships.
well..
one love.
one friendship.

five years.
and for what?
some mexican girl?
what's so good about her?
i'm not talking shit,
i'd just like to know.

i know i didn't mean everything to you.
i know i didn't mean much to you.
i thought i meant SOMETHING.
anything.
but obviously not.
obviously, not anything at all.
<3

you are addicting, indeed.
i loved you,
the second i met you.
but today.
right now.
right this moment.
i'm done.

i can't love you anymore.
i can't be around you.
i can't hang onto something like this.
it's pathetic.
it's ridiculous.
and as much as it hurts me,
and as much as i'm going to miss you,
i can't do this anymore.
even if you talk to me tomorrow.
or the next day.
or in a week.
or a month.

i'm going to tell you to fuck off.
i don't want anything to do with you.
because,
you know what i've learned?
i've learned this from you.
it isn't even worth it.
if it's this complicated,
it's not worth it.

i want so badly for you to be worth it.
i wanted to badly for you to just..
be with me.

but do you know what i've learned?
people are assholes.
love is make believe.
and people move on.

people move on every easily.
just like you.
you've already moved on.
i've wasted 5 years of my life.

but you know what?
i don't regret it.
i may have wasted it,
but i don't regret it.
i'd do it all again if i knew the outcome.

so,
i'm saying goodbye.
and as i write this,
my eyes have tears in them.
i'm telling myself that this is it.
after i post this,
i need to put myself together,
and get on with it.

because,
as much as i'm hurting,
you don't give a flying fuck.
so why should i?

i love you.
i've always loved you.
and i'd give you the world.
and you know it.

i guess love wasn't enough.
goodbye my almost lover.
xoxo




Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images

No

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do