Morals & Good Intentions

yup.


anyways,
actually.
you know what?
i'm quite chill to tell you the truth.
it's whatev actually.
i feel fine. :)

it's cool if she doesn't believe me.
cause if i were her,
i wouldn't either.
but it's whatev.

but i feel good about it.
and you wanna know the reason i did it?
not to be revengeful.
not to be a bitch.
i felt she needed to know.
honestly,
i don't want it to happen to her.

and as for him,
he's dug his own grave.
and i don't care either way,
what will happen.
not one bit.

it's funny, really.
apparently i'm "severely insecure with low self-esteem"
i actually think of myself,
extremely level headed,
and think highly of myself.
i mean,
i have my days.
we all do.
sometimes i get all girly,
and overthink shit,
but most of the time,
i'm me.
and even if all my imperfections,
i think i'm a good person.
i have good intentions.
i don't know stuff sometimes,
but i have good intentions.
and that's what counts.

it's cool if she thinks i'm some crazy white girl.
cause, honestly,
i really don't care.
and it's nice,
i don't care.

i don't want him.
i'm not fighting for him.
i don't want to see him.
i don't want to talk to him.
i don't want anything.

and that hasn't happened,
for awhile.
it's great.

:)

i feel nothing.
not in the,
apathetic sense.
like..
i really,
genuinely,
don't give a shit.

and i wanted to give her a heads up.
for my own morals.
so i can sleep at night.
so it's done.

she can either take the advice,
read more into it,
think i'm some liar,
think i'm some crazy revengeful bitch,
or not even care anymore.

and that's her choice.
which is totally incredibly fine.

if you are reading this,
which i think you might be,
i don't know you,
but you might be,

i'm genuinely sorry.
yes,
sometimes i knew he was with you.
sometimes i didn't.
most of the time,
i didn't even ask.

but that's behind me.
and it's done.
and it's whatever, honestly.

i won't fight for him.
he is yours for the taking.
if you want him.
i
do
not
care.

i hope you have a very enjoyable life.
and fall in love.
or stay in love.
and have lots of babies.
and get married, preferabely before babies.
seriously.

and no,
i am not 15.
i am 19.
i can sometimes act like a dork,
and sometimes i can act immature,
but that's everyone.
no one has it together,
all the time.
no one.
not even you.
maybe you do,
i don't know.
but whatev.

i feel better now.
sorry if pissed you off.
so not an attack on you.
and if you knew me,
you'd know that.

xoxo