It's like a drug addiction.

it's like i'm a drug addict.



one day..
i'm completely fine.
i don't get upset about him.
i'm chill.

then it can flip,
like a light switch,
when i see something,
and i get all upset again,
all over again.

he's still talking to her.
wow.
she actually forgave him?
what an idiot, js.

i guess i have to take it..
one day at a time.

i refuse to cry.
i won't do it.
i'm refusing to do it.
it's just..
not going to happen.
he isn't worth these tears.
he isn't.
he isn't.
he isn't.

i'm fine if i keep myself busy.
i'm fine if i don't think about it.
the nights are the worst.
all you have is time.
but,
i refuse to cry.

he won't fucking break me.
i'm too good for that.
he's just some stupid mexican.
who someday,
will knock her up,
if she isn't already,
and have crazy mexican babies,
all over the house.

i should get tested.
who knows what kind of shit
i caught from him.
seriously.
i could be dying.

i was never safe with him.
physically,
and figureatively.

i should have kept my guard up,
and what did i do?
i let it down.
it was up when i didn't see him.
or talk to him.
and it was down
right fucking down
whenever i saw him
or talked to him,
so quickly,
so fast.

i don't wish he was mine.
he is pathetic.
and i can never have a future with him.
he would cheat, obviously.
and break my heart
repeatedly.

this is good.
i'm glad it's over.
i'm glad.
really.

now i can finally move on.
he won't fucking break me.
i swear it.
i swear it.
i swear it.

xoxo